Finding Focus: Building a New Sleep Mode to Improve Discipline, Support Better Habits, and Save Me from Myself
For many, sleep is a complicated matter. It is vital to our health and well-being, yet many struggle to get adequate rest. According to the CDC, 36 percent of adults in the United States, approximately 120 million people, sleep less than seven hours each night.
Over a quarter of the US population needs to sleep more. Regretfully, since becoming a parent, I've become part of this unfortunate statistic.
Like most parents, The struggle became greater after having children. As if inconsistencies of sleep that are beyond my control aren't enough, I've recently started doing something that is certainly not in my best interest: staying up well after the kids are asleep and things are cleaned up. I don't do this every night, but I cycle through a couple times a week where the desire to just stay awake and enjoy some quiet time to decompress wins out over the better angels of sleep. My wife, who deals with the same sleepless nights but is far wiser than me, prioritizes what little sleep she gets over anything that doesn't involve her family. She's an intelligent woman, and as I often tell her, when I'm learning from her, I'm taking notes.
Some nights things works out. I go to bed later than I should, and everyone sleeps through the night. Other nights, I only get a few hours of sleep before the waking up begins. After a particularly tough week of this cycle, I made a conscious decision to take action and make a change.
The Goal
I started this project by making a short list of my goals. Here's what I came up with:
Aim for seven hours of sleep every night
Access to apps that promote relaxation and sleep
Limit access to apps that inhibit sleep
Turn on automatically 30 minutes before ideal bedtime
Use context shifting to reinforce sleep time
With these goals in mind, I set out to reduce distractions during the time that I want to be sleeping and also improve my sleep discipline. After some planning, I started building a revamped sleep Focus mode.
Letting the Right Apps In
Okay, I have an admission to make. I use my devices in bed before going to sleep. Most often, I'm on an iPad Air or iPad Mini, writing a journal entry and reading on the Kindle app. Sometimes, I do this on my iPhone if I'm traveling or don't have an iPad near me.
I know that using technology before bed can contribute to sleep problems. More specifically, I know the apps that can distract me and present problems. I keep the few social media apps I use, streaming apps, email, and the open web, off limits.
So, what's allowed? Honestly, not much.
The Home Screen
I Have one widget and four apps that are a part of my Sleep Focus Mode. Phone and Messages are also accessible, but let’s be honest, they are easily ignored.
The Kindle Widget
I read when I wake up and before I go to sleep. I read several short passages from "daily" books in the morning, while I usually read one or two full-length books at night. The content of these vary, but it's typically nonfiction. Lately, I've been rereading Kitchen Confidential and The Diary of Anne Frank. The first is an old favorite that I'm rereading for the first time since It was released nearly 24 years ago, and the second is part of my research into journaling. The Kindle Widget is ideal here because it's bigger than any other app icon and will get me right into reading a book.
Ulysses
I do all of my writing in Ulysses. I like accessing what I'm working on quickly, especially if I'm in bed early. While that's rare, it's often because I want to do a little writing before I call it a night.
MindNode
I'm a nerd. Nerds mind map. I'm working on several active mind maps for various parts of my life, including management and team-building ideas, journaling, event or trip planning, and general content for this site.
Dark Noise
I often use Dark Noise while I sleep. I've always been a fan of white noise, and having two kids who like white noise machines has just reinforced my preference for it. I set up this simple shortcut to turn on brown noise, which I prefer over the more traditional white noise option in this app.
Gratitude
As part of my journaling practice, I use this shortcut to create a new daily gratitude entry in Day One. That's table stakes for my journaling practice. Some days, I write in other journals or do multiple entries, but at a minimum, I post a photo and a sentence or two that share something I'm thankful for.
Moving Safari
I've always kept Safari on my dock on all my mobile devices. It's one of my most frequently used apps, yet it's one of the apps I don't want easy access to in Sleep Mode. Right now, Apple doesn't let you have different docks for different focus modes, so now Safari lives on the Home Screen of my iPad and iPhone.
The Apple Watch
Most days, I wear my watch until I go to bed, so I have an automation set to change the face from California to the Breathe face an hour before my ideal bedtime. This furthers the shift from where the day-to-day noise of calendar, fitness, weather, etc., can become overwhelming to where the focus is much more on winding down.
The Honor System
I am at my best when I follow this simple rule: if I wake up in the middle of the night and can't sleep, I can pick up my iPad or my iPhone, and I can do anything I want as long as it's reading a book or choosing an option on my Home Screen.
Having used this Focus mode for more than a month since beginning the first draft of this post, I can report that it works well. The context shift does make a difference. It reminds me that my interests are best served by not accessing social media, news apps, or any noisy inputs the broader net offers. Anytime I ignore this reminder and abandon my responsibilities around getting the best sleep possible, I am worse for it.
Finally, I know Focus modes can only do so much. It’s as much about making the right decisions and advocating for myself. Still, using the tools at hand to make it a little easier to make the right decisions is worth doing.
Basic AF: iPhone Event Recap with Joe Moyer (Hey, That’s Me!)
I had the pleasure of joining Jeff Battersby and Tom Anderson on the Basic AF Show to discuss the latest Apple event and answer whether it was a September to remember.
From the show notes:
Join us as we breakdown the new AirPods and hearing related features for AirPods Pro 2, the Apple Watch Series 10 and Ultra 2 in Satin Black. The new iPhone 16 looks excellent, and the iPhone 16 Pro lineup is more "pro" even with its boring colors.
This was my first podcast appearance, and Tom and Jeff are great guys. I genuinely had fun! They were patient with my changing schedule and a pleasure to chat with. I'm thankful they had me on, and as you'll hear on the podcast, we plan to talk again soon!
Check out the show wherever you get your podcasts, and let me know how we did!
Weekly Quote: Steven Pressfield on Doing What Scares Us
This week’s quote comes from The War of Art by Steven Pressfield, a book worthy of regular visits from your time and attention. Pressfield reminds us that meaning lies in the hard stuff, the scary stuff, the stuff that we know is important but triggers our anxiety and makes us want to run away. We can’t run away.
There’s too much to do, and too many people are counting on us to not do what frightens us. We have to keep our heads up and keep going. There’s too much at stake not to.
What I’m Watching - Summer 2024
As summer slowly gives way to cooler weather in New England, Here are a few shows I’ve been watching:
The Acolyte - Disney+
I know. The Acolyte wasn’t without some issues, but I enjoyed it. Watching it excited me for the second season of Andor, due in 2025. I thought season one was the best original Star Wars content released on Disney+.
Better Call Saul - Netflix
It took me a while to return to Better Call Saul, and I’m so glad I did. As many did, I watched Breaking Bad live or via the cable box on demand on AMC back when it debuted in 2008 because that’s what we did then.
Better Call Saul debuted in 2015. I watched the first few seasons on cable and enjoyed the show, but then life happened. I came back to it more recently, checking in with the series over the last few years and finally finishing it this summer.
The series is excellent, and I was pleased with how the story played out and the finale. I may like it better than Breaking Bad, but that could be recency bias more than anything else.
The Great American Recipe - PBS
This has been around for a few years, but I’ve just recently discovered it. I’m a big fan of The Great British Baking Show (AKA Bake Off), which has a similar vibe. Kind people make good food and share their stories with each other. The judges are all chefs who want to see everyone succeed, and I’m here for all of it.
Deadline Reports that Ted Lasso May Be Coming Back
Deadline reports that Ted Lasso may be returning for a season 4. From the article:
While the outreach to the cast is underway, early preparations are also being made to open a writers room. If all elements come together, we hear production on a fourth season is eyeing an early 2025 start. Reps for WBTV and Apple TV+ declined comment.
Starting the process for a Season 4 greenlight indicates that the main Ted Lasso driving force on and off-screen, Sudeikis, is on board for a new installment as the studio would not have proceeded without his consent.
I was a big fan of this show, particularly the first season, which dropped during a particularly weird time in recent history. I have mixed feelings about the potential for a return. I’m excited about checking in with the characters and setting, but I also know that sometimes things are better left as is. Still, if it’s coming, I’ll absolutely check it out.
Apple’s “Glowtime” event is next week, and I’ll be watching to see if they make any announcements related to Lasso.
Weekly Quote: Michael Gervais on Our Greatest Regret
This week’s quote, from The First Rule of Mastery: Stop Worrying About What People Think of You by Michael Gervais, reminds us of the difference between what we think is important and what actually matters.
Charlie Deets Releases Quick Journal for iOS
Charlie Deets, a product designer at The Browser Company, has released Quick Journal.
From Charlie on Threads:
"It is a simple journaling app without any gimmicks, suggestions or distractions.
It is highly customizable and has widgets to help you keep track of your entries.
It also features custom icons from design friends such as @gabrielvaldivia and @cshdllr."
Quick journal is a beautiful, simple text based app with a nice level of customization. I like the option to auto open the composer window, so when you open the app you're immediately ready to journal. There are no suggestions, no photos, no frills. Quick Journal is all about text.
One important note—the entries are saved locally for now. I thought I saw Charlie mention on Threads he was looking at adding cloud storage, but I can't find that comment now. He's had lots of positive feedback!
I’ve been on the TestFlight for a few months and it’s been fun to watch the development evolution. Check out Quick Journal if you’re looking for a simple text based journaling tool for your iPhone, just remember that, at least for now, there’s no backup of your data. I hope Charlie adds that feature soon.
MacSparky Journals to 5,000
Speaking of hitting journaling milestones, my friend David Sparks hit a big one. 5,000 digital journal entries. Well done!
Weekly Quote: Building a StoryBrand With Donald Miller
This week's quote is from Building a StoryBrand: Clarify Your Message So Customers Will Listen by Donald Miller.
Everyone has a story, and one of the key takeaways in Miller's book is that most people care more about their own story than yours. So, when trying to connect with others, it's best to make them the hero of the journey you'd like them to join you on.
This idea transcends marketing and building a business. It's a practical approach that makes a lot of sense in everyday life. Let people see themselves in your world; there's a good chance for a connection that works.
600 Days of Gratitude Journaling
Yesterday, Day One let me know that I had written my 600th consecutive entry in my daily gratitude journal. I'm proud of this achievement and hope it inspires some of you to start your journaling practice.
Like many apps, Day One likes to celebrate streaks to stay motivated and keep going on a goal. Streaks have a place in helping us build the version of ourselves we most want to be, although I have mixed feelings about them.
I'm sending more thoughts on the pros and cons of streaks to newsletter subscribers next week. You can subscribe below, and I'll send you my quick guide Seven Thought-Provoking Prompts for Your Journaling Practice, when you confirm your email.
If you haven't checked in on the newsletter lately, you’ll note that I’m refocusing it on journaling and working towards sending something to subscribers every two weeks. I'll have more on that soon.
Todd Henry on Walking With the Wise
This week's quote comes from one of the books I start every morning with, the Daily Creative: Find Your Inspiration to Spark Creative Energy and Fight Burnout by Todd Henry.
Todd has written what might be the best and most succinct sentence I've read about the value of mentorship. Spending time with someone who knows more than you, who has more experience than you, and who is just ten percent further ahead in their journey or career can change your life.
In just the same way, being a mentor can be a deeply rewarding experience. You can watch your mentee's eyes light up and feel their energy change as they absorb whatever you're trying to impart.
Everyone has benefited from someone wiser than them. When you're ready, you should add your voice to the world. Someone needs to hear from you.
Weekly Quote: Seth Godin on Building Things
This week’s quote comes from Seth Godin. Seth is a marketing expert, author, entrepreneur, and teacher who’s influenced and encouraged countless creatives.
In case you’re feeling like a cog in the giant wheel of life, take a moment and read what Seth has written here.
Weekly Quote: William Zinsser on Simplifying Your Work
This week's quote comes from On Writing Well: An Informal Guide to Writing Nonfiction by William Zinsser. The book, released in 1976, has sold over a million copies and is worthy of everyone's attention. Whether you're writing emails to your grandma or quarterly business reports for your senior leadership team, this book can help.
It takes effort to be concise. You want to express your gratitude, share a funny anecdote, and provide as much helpful information as you can. You want to answer all the questions that have been asked AND any questions that may come up.
Keep whatever your writing as simple as you can. Whether it's an email or the report out, tell the story that needs to be told, but whatever it is can probably be shorter.
You Have a Choice
You can wake up early and go to the gym, or you can sleep. You can get to bed on time, or you can watch another episode of that show you're binging on. You can write for an hour before heading to work or scroll on social media.
Sometimes, the right choice is easier to see. Often, it isn't. Sleep is essential, and so is exercise. It's your job to balance what you need with what you want and understand the long game you're playing. You only get one chance at life, at all of this, and it goes faster than you'd think.
You will only sometimes choose wisely. That's okay. It's expected. Life isn't just about the tactics of getting through today; it's about the strategies you build to be true to yourself, your kids, your friends, your partner, and those who depend on you and love you. It's about how you turn your days into weeks and months through your kindness, strength, and integrity.
The choice won't always be easy, but they are uniquely yours. Remember that and treat it like the gift it is.
Weekly Quote: Ryan Holiday on The Pursuit of Justice
This week's quote comes from Ryan Holiday's newest book in the Stoic Virtues Series, Right Thing, Right Now: Good Values. Good Character. Good Deeds.
As with so many essential aspects of our character, we make the most gains from what we practice every day.
New Features Coming to Apple Journal in iOS 18
At WWDC last month, Apple announced some new features coming to Journal with iOS 18 this fall. They include:
State of Mind Integration
State of Mind was released last year and is most easily accessed via the Mindfulness app on the Apple Watch. It can also be accessed through Health on iPad and iPhone.
I’ve been waiting for them to add this feature since they released it last fall. It just makes sense to integrate with a journaling app.
Insights
Insights will provide a calendar and stats like your current and longest streak, as well as general stats like how many entries you’ve done in a given year and how many words you’ve written. Based on the screenshots, Journal will also keep track of places you visit frequently and share that information.
I like to nerd out on insights like this, although I’m also a bit weary of streaks and urge people not to become too fixated on them. Streaks do have a place in helping you keep your journaling habit going.
Search
It’s hard to believe that Journal didn’t have this before. Search is kind of table stakes for making an app like this useful. I’m glad it’s being added.
Small Improvements Matter
I’ve recommended Journal to friends and family who are iPhone users and want an integrated tool for which they don’t have to pay extra. While not as advanced as third-party apps like Day One, features like the ones coming this fall will make Journal a better app and easier to keep recommending to people looking for a simple iPhone first journaling app.
Right Thing, Right Now by Ryan Holiday
A few weeks ago saw the release of Ryan Holiday’s latest book in The Stoic Virtues Series Right Thing, Right Now: Good Values. Good Character. Good Deeds.
I received my signed copy in the mail on release day as expected, but I’ve only just started reading it because I was knocked out for weeks with food poisoning and then followed it up with a chest cold and laryngitis, hence the extended radio silence here. I’m back.
You can grab your copy of Ryan’s new book here. It’s excellent. I’m a few chapters in and I particularly enjoyed the chapter about Truman. I’ve become a big fan of our 33rd President in recent years after reading The Accidental President: Harry S. Truman and the Four Months That Changed the World by A.J. Baime.
Cal Newport on Slow Productivity
This week’s quote comes from Cal Newport’s latest book, Slow Productivity: The Lost Art of Accomplishment Without Burnout.
The trap of unlimited time is rather easy to fall into, especially when you are working on a passion project. Add to that the rigors of everyday life, family, and day job stuff, and that unlimited time can quickly morph into infinity. I’m speaking from experience here, as I have projects I’ve lost track of because I haven’t been able to set the right kind of deadlines and actually make the right kind of effort to match them. I’ve written before about how practice makes progress, and this idea speaks to this quote. We needn’t forge a masterpiece here; we need to make something that causes those we want to reach most to take note of.
I’m taking the advice here to heart and seeing how I can make some slow progress on the work I’m doing. I hope you’ll do the same, and in doing so, be kind to yourself. Your circumstances are what they are, and they’re real. Even Newport mentions that what he suggests in this book won’t work for everyone, or at least not in its totality. Remember that, and do your best to accomplish the things you want to get done.
Weekly Quote: Raymond Carver on Being Patient
When I'm not writing, it's as if l've never written a word or had any desire to write. I fall into bad habits. I stay up too late and sleep in too long. But it's okay. I've learned to be patient and to bide my time.
Raymond Carver
This week’s quote comes from a 1983 Interview in The Paris Review with the short story writer and poet Raymond Carver, considered by many to be one of the defining voices of short story writing in the later part of the 20th century. If you’re new to Carver and want to read some excellent short fiction, I recommend starting with this collection.
While I cannot attribute my lack of writing to bad habits so much as to the demands of being a busy parent, I can relate to the idea that I feel far away from writing when I don’t do it regularly. Lately, my time to write has been less regular than I’d like or is even typical, so when I consider getting to my desk during quiet moments either late at night or occasionally during the day when there’s a bit of a lull, it feels more daunting than usual.
Yet, when I sit down, and my hands touch the keys, it feels entirely right again. Now, I’m not writing short fiction or poetry, at least not right now, but what I am writing, the story I’m telling, is something that has an impact on me and, I hope anyway, an effect on others, too.
Maybe you haven’t picked up your guitar in a while, or haven’t made it on a run in a few days, or perhaps you haven’t sat at your computer to write the next chapter in your novel. This happens to everyone. We lose the thread and sometimes for no reason that we can parse except getting busy or getting distracted. Don’t worry about the why right now. Be patient, and when there’s time and space find your way back to whatever it is you’ve lost touch with, embrace it, and make your way.
What I’m Watching - Spring 2024
I only have a little downtime for TV these days. My kids are my full-time job, and as a stay-at-home dad, I'm also the responsible party for the bulk of the food prep, transportation, cleaning, etc. So, while I'm not sitting down to watch movies with my wife (she's also busy working and being a fantastic mom and wife), I do find small windows of time, most often while doing those aforementioned household chores, to stream a show or two. Here are a few shows that I'm slowly watching and enjoying:
Franklin - Apple TV+
I read Benjamin Franklin: An American Life by Walter Isaacson last year and found the story of one of America's founding fathers to be fascinating. Of course, growing up, Franklin has always loomed large as an important character in the history of the United States. The Apple TV+ series focuses on the eight years that Franklin spent lobbying the French to aid in the cause of independence.
The cast is splendid, led by Michael Douglas as Franklin. I know this may seem an odd choice for casting, but Douglas is enjoying the role and playing him with the demur whit that Franklin seems to have embodied. I also quite enjoy Noah June as Franklin's grandson Temple.
Clarkson's Farm - Amazon Prime
Jeremy Clarkson is best known for his time on Top Gear and later The Grand Tour. I've watched some of each series and have enjoyed them both. Clarkson's Farm, now on its 3rd season on Amazon Prime, follows the efforts of Clarkson and a humble band of characters as they work to make Diddly Squat farm a success. They're up against the weather, Clarkson's own incompetence, and the local council, and these challenges make for entertaining and occasionally poignant moments.
Tasting History with Max Miller - YouTube
Max Miller had a successful career at Disney when he was furloughed during the COVID-19 Pandemic, giving him more time to focus on his YouTube Channel and eventually to publish his first cookbook. Tasting History with Max Miller combines two things I really enjoy, History and Food. Max picks one recipe tied to an important moment from the past, and while he cooks the recipe, he devotes most of his time to sharing its place in history.
Some of my favorites from Max include his detailed breakdown of the menus of the Titanic, recipes from Ancient Rome and Egpyt, and a particularly tasty Pecan Pie that I made a few Thanksgivings ago. Our guests were divided, although I preferred this earlier rendition, popularized before Caro Syrup became a thing.
What's on your watch list
Do you have any recommendations that I might enjoy? If so, please send me a note. I'd like to hear from you.