Finding Focus: Building a New Sleep Mode to Improve Discipline, Support Better Habits, and Save Me from Myself
For many, sleep is a complicated matter. It is vital to our health and well-being, yet many struggle to get adequate rest. According to the CDC, 36 percent of adults in the United States, approximately 120 million people, sleep less than seven hours each night.
Over a quarter of the US population needs to sleep more. Regretfully, since becoming a parent, I've become part of this unfortunate statistic.
Like most parents, The struggle became greater after having children. As if inconsistencies of sleep that are beyond my control aren't enough, I've recently started doing something that is certainly not in my best interest: staying up well after the kids are asleep and things are cleaned up. I don't do this every night, but I cycle through a couple times a week where the desire to just stay awake and enjoy some quiet time to decompress wins out over the better angels of sleep. My wife, who deals with the same sleepless nights but is far wiser than me, prioritizes what little sleep she gets over anything that doesn't involve her family. She's an intelligent woman, and as I often tell her, when I'm learning from her, I'm taking notes.
Some nights things works out. I go to bed later than I should, and everyone sleeps through the night. Other nights, I only get a few hours of sleep before the waking up begins. After a particularly tough week of this cycle, I made a conscious decision to take action and make a change.
The Goal
I started this project by making a short list of my goals. Here's what I came up with:
Aim for seven hours of sleep every night
Access to apps that promote relaxation and sleep
Limit access to apps that inhibit sleep
Turn on automatically 30 minutes before ideal bedtime
Use context shifting to reinforce sleep time
With these goals in mind, I set out to reduce distractions during the time that I want to be sleeping and also improve my sleep discipline. After some planning, I started building a revamped sleep Focus mode.
Letting the Right Apps In
Okay, I have an admission to make. I use my devices in bed before going to sleep. Most often, I'm on an iPad Air or iPad Mini, writing a journal entry and reading on the Kindle app. Sometimes, I do this on my iPhone if I'm traveling or don't have an iPad near me.
I know that using technology before bed can contribute to sleep problems. More specifically, I know the apps that can distract me and present problems. I keep the few social media apps I use, streaming apps, email, and the open web, off limits.
So, what's allowed? Honestly, not much.
The Home Screen
I Have one widget and four apps that are a part of my Sleep Focus Mode. Phone and Messages are also accessible, but let’s be honest, they are easily ignored.
The Kindle Widget
I read when I wake up and before I go to sleep. I read several short passages from "daily" books in the morning, while I usually read one or two full-length books at night. The content of these vary, but it's typically nonfiction. Lately, I've been rereading Kitchen Confidential and The Diary of Anne Frank. The first is an old favorite that I'm rereading for the first time since It was released nearly 24 years ago, and the second is part of my research into journaling. The Kindle Widget is ideal here because it's bigger than any other app icon and will get me right into reading a book.
Ulysses
I do all of my writing in Ulysses. I like accessing what I'm working on quickly, especially if I'm in bed early. While that's rare, it's often because I want to do a little writing before I call it a night.
MindNode
I'm a nerd. Nerds mind map. I'm working on several active mind maps for various parts of my life, including management and team-building ideas, journaling, event or trip planning, and general content for this site.
Dark Noise
I often use Dark Noise while I sleep. I've always been a fan of white noise, and having two kids who like white noise machines has just reinforced my preference for it. I set up this simple shortcut to turn on brown noise, which I prefer over the more traditional white noise option in this app.
Gratitude
As part of my journaling practice, I use this shortcut to create a new daily gratitude entry in Day One. That's table stakes for my journaling practice. Some days, I write in other journals or do multiple entries, but at a minimum, I post a photo and a sentence or two that share something I'm thankful for.
Moving Safari
I've always kept Safari on my dock on all my mobile devices. It's one of my most frequently used apps, yet it's one of the apps I don't want easy access to in Sleep Mode. Right now, Apple doesn't let you have different docks for different focus modes, so now Safari lives on the Home Screen of my iPad and iPhone.
The Apple Watch
Most days, I wear my watch until I go to bed, so I have an automation set to change the face from California to the Breathe face an hour before my ideal bedtime. This furthers the shift from where the day-to-day noise of calendar, fitness, weather, etc., can become overwhelming to where the focus is much more on winding down.
The Honor System
I am at my best when I follow this simple rule: if I wake up in the middle of the night and can't sleep, I can pick up my iPad or my iPhone, and I can do anything I want as long as it's reading a book or choosing an option on my Home Screen.
Having used this Focus mode for more than a month since beginning the first draft of this post, I can report that it works well. The context shift does make a difference. It reminds me that my interests are best served by not accessing social media, news apps, or any noisy inputs the broader net offers. Anytime I ignore this reminder and abandon my responsibilities around getting the best sleep possible, I am worse for it.
Finally, I know Focus modes can only do so much. It’s as much about making the right decisions and advocating for myself. Still, using the tools at hand to make it a little easier to make the right decisions is worth doing.
Finding Focus: How I Fortify My Day With A Morning Reading Habit
Life holds a certain dissonance, even in the best of times. Joy comes with pain. Growth with sadness. Not to sound too much like Master Yoda here, but hopefully, you get my point. Life is messy and full of responsibility. People depend on us, and to be successful, we need all the help we can get.
In my own life, this is undoubtedly true. To help fortify my day, I take 15 or twenty minutes each morning to read a daily passage from several books and to review a selection of highlights from past reading. Aside from starting the day with a sense of accomplishment, it also offers me fresh insights related to essential roles in my life.
To accomplish this, I’m using my recently acquired iPad mini, whose primary purpose is to act as a personal reflection tool. I use it for reading, journaling, highlighting, and light note-taking.
The Books
Here's what I'm reading as part of this routine, as well as the corresponding role that it's aimed at improving:
The Daily Dad: 366 Meditations on Parenting, Love, and Raising Great Kids by Ryan Holiday
The Better Parent and Partner
This is the newest addition to my daily reading list. I'm on my first read-through and started it on January 1st. As the title implies, this book is helping me build my toolset as a father. The role of a father is among the most important to me, and as a stay-at-home parent, it's where I spend most of my time on a given day, so having this book as part of my startup is really helpful to remind me of my desire to be a helpful and loving father and husband.
The Daily Stoic: 366 Meditations on Wisdom, Perseverance, and the Art of Living by Ryan Holiday
The Better Human
Now on my fourth read-through, The Daily Stoic is the book that began my interest in Stoicism and daily learning, helping me realize that a few pages a day can be an antidote to the powerful feelings of self-doubt that lurk just outside our field of vision. The Daily Stoic helps to fortify me against my lack of control over external events and reminds me of my power to understand and shape my reaction to those events.
Daily Creative: Find Your Inspiration to Spark Creative Energy and Fight Burnout by Todd Henry
The Better Creative and Professional
My friend Jim suggested this book during one of our regular calls last year, and I enjoyed reading passages sporadically but didn’t quite commit. This year, I'm making it a part of my daily ritual. This feeds my creative self; I'm a better writer and thinker when that gets attention.
After finishing my morning reading, I switch to the second part of this routine and jump from the Kindle app on my iPad Mini to my preferred app that helps me manage and organize highlights from ebooks, articles, and email newsletters, Readwise.
Making and Reviewing Highlights
Much of what I think and write about is sparked by my reading. To manage highlights from things I've read, I use Readwise. I like that I can access all of my saved highlights via the app or the web, and they regularly email me with highlights and summaries to review. You can read more about how I use Readwise in this piece I wrote as part of the PKM Toolkit series.
While I'm reviewing highlights, I have two shortcuts at the ready. The first allows me to easily send a topic idea to a Craft document where I keep possible ideas of interest to write about. The second opens a mind map in Mindnode for a similar purpose. However, this is less focused on specific topic ideas and more on adding bits and pieces to projects or topics already in active development.
Building The Fortification
My daily reading practice is a powerful way to start my day in the right direction and help me build a foundation upon which to work to be a better dad, husband, human, and creative. While this habit is just part of my morning routine, it's crucial to any success I find during my day and offers an outsized reward for my time invested.
Benjamin Franklin Was Time Blocking Before it Was Cool
Source: Wikimedia/The Atlantic
Benjamin Franklin’s daily schedule in all of its nerdy splendor. It’s useful for those of us trying to get stuff done to see that people have been trying to do time-blocking for a long time.
The morning and evening journaling prompts may be my favorite piece of this. These could be as helpful today as they were a couple hundred years ago. I’ll keep banging the drum for journaling; it helps people figure stuff out.
My role as a stay-at-home dad doesn’t allow for as much time blocking, although I’ve done it at work. At my last job, I had a lot of meetings that I was invited to (and required to attend), but I made an effort to keep Monday and Friday as free of them as possible so I could start and end the week by moving the departmental needle. Wednesday was the day that I set meetings and one-on-ones. Every day I had an hour in the morning to work on reviews and team member feedback and an hour in the afternoon dedicated to hiring and reviewing job applications. On my most successful days, I went through a shutdown routine where I cleaned up email, tidied up my task list, and reviewed the next day’s calendar and tasks.
There’s value in this kind of planning, although I’ve learned that the plan doesn’t always work out. Sometimes, life has a plan or, perhaps more appropriately, doesn’t, and you just have to ride it out. Be your best friend about this, don’t beat yourself up. So much is beyond your control; remember that.
Finding Focus: Using HazeOver to Tame Distraction
I sometimes find It difficult to concentrate while trying to get creative work done on my Mac. Like most people, I have a lot of demands on my time, and even when I want to really get into a project, distractions are plentiful. One tool that has helped me improve my focus and stay on task is HazeOver, an app I've been happily using as part of my SetApp subscription for several months.
HazeOver, a productivity tool developed by Maxim Anavov, creates a translucent layer that darkens the desktop behind the currently active window. It is customizable, offering options to adjust the opacity or change the color of the layer. HazeOver also supports multiple displays, the option to highlight one window or all windows of an active app, and a rules based tool that disable any features for specified apps.
HazeOver is contextual for me. I toggle the app via keyboard shortcut when it's time to write or take notes from research and shut it off when doing admin work or general tasks. I have made minimal changes to the settings, with the opacity set at 75%, the default black color option, and only one active window highlighted at a time.
There are a lot of distractions in our lives, and I appreciate the simple and effective way that HazeOver works to try and minimize some of those while I get work done. If you have a tool you like that helps you stay focused, let me know. I’ll give it a try and may include it in a future post for this series.
HazeOver is available for purchase on the App Store and via Setapp, where new users get a 7-day free trial. If you subscribe to Setapp using this link, you get one month free, and it supports the work I do as well.
Finding Focus: Why Waking Up at 5 AM Helps Me Get More Done
I've long been the kind of person who likes to wake up at 5 AM. The time before the day starts is one of reflection and personal development for me, whether through physical exercise, journaling, or reading. I've discovered since launching 24 Letters that this time is where some of my most productive work on content and ideas comes from.
Here are a few reasons why being an early riser helps me get more done.
It's Quiet
I get distracted easily and also have plenty of responsibilities once the kids are awake, so having a quiet house helps me get into the writing groove. Once I've made coffee and fed the cats, I come into the studio and get started. I use a focus mode to keep the digital distractions at bay, and I have a shortcut to launch my preferred mix in Dark Noise. My mind is quiet, and if I can keep it from getting polluted with notifications and calendar items for the coming day, I'm much more likely to get work done.
It's my Margin
Whatever you're doing with your day, you likely have something that takes up the bulk of your time that, in most cases, is not your creative endeavor or passion project. I'm a stay-at-home dad, which requires a lot of attention and care. Finding the margins means figuring out the time that works around your other priorities. Unless my kids are awake extra early, the predawn time is usually available for me.
It Starts the Day Strong
When I get some work done on a post or a draft of the next newsletter started, I start the day with an accomplishment that is meaningful to me. As a result, I find myself in a better mood and can better focus my attention during the day instead of becoming distracted by the projects I'm falling behind on.
It's Incremental Growth
An hour or 90 minutes a day may not seem like much, but that adds up to a few weeks' worth of writing time if you do it every day. Realistically, it doesn't happen daily, but even three or four days a week moves the needle. For me, it's about progress over time, and I’m happy with that as long as I can build content that helps people.
It's my Peak
In his book When: The Scientific Secrets of Perfect Timing, Daniel Pink writes about Your Daily When, the natural fluctuations in energy and alertness that everyone feels throughout the day. Dan's research shows that most people peak in the morning, and I'm in that group. I'm often happiest and most effective at getting things done between 5 am and 12 pm.
What I Work On
I try to make before I manage, as David Sparks frequently says. The early hours are reserved for creative work. I either get stuck into an ongoing draft in Ulysses or begin pulling ideas and sources together to prep for a new piece. This work usually takes place in apps like Craft and Mindnode.
I have a weekly planning document in Craft that I use to roughly map out what I want to get done with the week, and I also have a simple review process built-in with that.
Navigating the Ups and Downs
We sometimes have less attention or time to devote to the things we would like to get done than we would like.
It's frustrating to have a plan and then watch it not happen. We all have more practice with that than we realize, yet it's still difficult to experience. My rule is to start with kindness and understanding. It's helpful to remember the first principle of Stoicism, shared by Ward Farnsworth in The Practicing Stoic:
I like starting the day by acting on something important to me. It improves my mood, sharpens my senses, and helps me achieve the goal of creating content that can help people become a better version of themselves by learning something new. It doesn’t always work, but it did today and I will try for tomorrow too.
Finding Focus: Staying on Track With Dark Noise
Since launching this site, most of my writing has been done either in the early morning or while my two kids nap. I often play music and there is always white noise playing for our kids while they sleep. Without realizing it, that sound has become a foundation for my focus state and my writing process. While I like having white noise on in the background, The mono speaker on most baby monitors isn’t very good, with sound quality not being high on the list of features.
I’ve been aware of various white noise apps and have used one version on the Amazon Alexa a few times, however I hadn’t tried one on my Apple devices. Timing is everything apparently because as I was considering this, Episode 669 of my favorite tech podcast, the Mac Power Users featuring Charlie Chapman, the developer behind Dark Noise, was released. I downloaded his app while listening to the episode and have been using it since.
What is Dark Noise
Dark Noise is an ambient noise app for iOS and Mac. Its developer, Charlie Chapman, is the kind of app developer I am happy to support. He is also an artist, designer, and podcaster who’s been working on iOS and Mac Apps for nearly a decade. During his appearance on Mac Power Users, Charlie shared his perspective on being an indie developer and spoke candidly with hosts David Sparks and Stephen Hackett about moving Dark Noise from a side gig to a full-time project, which would likely require it to become a subscription app. Clearly, he is not interested in a money grab and is thinking carefully about how to provide the best value for his customers.
My favorite Dark Noise feature is it’s simplicity. When you open the app on mobile, the last used sound is shown just above a large play button. There’s little else aside from the usual audio source picker and volume slider, a timer, and an option to select other sounds. Nothing gets in the way of you pressing play and getting on with whatever you need to do.
Dark Noise on iOS, Mac, and iPadOS. Image Courtesy of Dark Noise
On the Mac, the design is similarly clean and intuitive. I am a big fan of the adaptive toolbar design, which makes it easy to show only the controls and what’s currently playing. This makes managing precious screen real estate much easier.
The app offers a large variety of sounds, with 50 to choose from, including traditional white noise machine options and a significant variety of other environmental sounds like rain, wind chimes, fireworks, and even a spaceship engine. You can also mix the different sounds to customize the vibe you’re looking for, and on the Mac you can use it while listening to other audio sources as well.
How I Use It
I’ve been listening to Dark Noise while writing for the last month. I spent the first week listening to a custom mix of the thunderstorms and coffee shop sounds, while the last few weeks have had me alternating mostly between the heavy rain and grey noise options. I’m finding that the specific time of day or mood helps dictate what I want to listen to, and learning what fits best is fun to explore. I’ve also used Dark Noise a few times while doing household chores. Sometimes I want to listen to something but don’t want a podcast, audiobook, or music, and it’s great to have another option. I’m spoiled for choices.
Dark Noise has robust automation support for Siri and Keyboard Shortcuts and offers Widgets and Home Screen quick actions. I access my preferred sound quickly through a shortcut that lives on my iPad and iPhone Home Screen and on my Stream Deck for the Mac.
I know that the baby monitor won’t be in my home and studio in a few years. So while I have some feelings about my kids growing up (Parents, you get it), I’m pleased to know that I’ll have a beautifully designed app that offers a variety of sounds to help me focus created by an indie developer who wants it to stick around. Dark Noise is subtle enough to keep my mind from wandering without being distracting, and with all that’s vying for my attention, it’s refreshing to have this option.
Finding Focus: Using Screen Time for Social Media
The user is the product on social media, and every effort is made to keep our attention. After reviewing my usage, I decided that I was spending too much time being the product and not being productive, and that needed to change. My solution to help me stay on track is Screen Time, the built-in iOS and iPad OS tool.
I have a fifteen-minute limit set for social applications. Once triggered, the app Icon disappears from Siri Suggestions and isn't readily displayed in search results, the two ways I access the most used apps on my iPhone. Additionally, the icon is grayed out wherever it is shown with a small hourglass icon, acting as a not-so-subtle reminder that the time is up.
When the limit screen appears, an Ignore Limit menu offers the opportunity to delay for 1 minute, 15 minutes, or the rest of the day. When presented with this pop-up, I usually just close the app and move on.
After a few months of using this feature, I rarely see this screen appear, and in some ways, I have learned to self-regulate my usage to at most one or two short periods per day. I am pleased with this more balanced approach to social media; the reduction in use is a better fit for my life, and I still can keep in touch with the creators I enjoy.
I wondered if sharing my use of Screen Time would feel like an admission of weakness or an embarrassment and spoke with some friends and family about this idea, and they helped me understand that my desire to limit these apps is healthy. Sharing my experience might be helpful for others considering a similar path.
If you are on a specific app more than you'd like, check your usage. If the number you see makes you uncomfortable, set a limit. Then, when that hourglass icon comes onto the screen, it offers you a momentary break from that dopamine machine, and you can make a better-informed choice about what to do with your time.
Finding Focus: Hiding the Clock and Reading Progress in Kindle
I like to minimize distractions while reading on the iPad. Without the proper controls, a connected device can become a firehose of eye-catching notifications. I wrote about how well my Reading Focus Mode is working for me, and that has inspired me to try and reduce the amount of visible data on screen in the Kindle itself. To accomplish this, I’ve decided to hide the Reading Progress data that displays in the lower left corner and the current time that appears in the upper left corner.
It’s easy to toggle these options in the Kindle App. Just do the following:
1. Open a book and press anywhere in the middle of the screen. Doing this will change the view and offer settings and other options.
2. In the upper right corner of the screen, press the icon featuring an upper and lowercase letter and navigate to the More category.
3. Under the More pane, toggle Visible Clock.
4. Press on Reading Progress and adjust as desired.
5. If you check all options available under Reading Progress, it will hide the information but keep it accessible with a tap to the lower left corner while you are reading.
I’m enjoying the white space that this creates. I know it’s a little tweak, but sometimes those can significantly improve an experience. I think this is one of those situations. If you try it, let me know if you find it helpful.
Focus Mode Comes to Craft
Craft, my favorite app for building ideas, has implemented Focus Mode in its latest update (v2.2.3). With a simple keyboard shortcut (command + .), I can toggle all sidebars, navigation, and headers. I'm left with a distraction-free workspace to create.
Craft is regularly updated with thoughtful improvements, and I appreciate that. The developers are already looking at iOS 16 and macOS Ventura features like Lock Screen and Stage Manager. The mockups look great, and I'm excited to see where things land when the new operating systems are released.
Finding Focus: Keeping on Task with Reading Mode
While I still enjoy printed books occasionally, my reading preferences have shifted to the Kindle app on my iPad. Customizing my Reading Focus Mode has improved this preference, and here’s how I set it up to make it work for me.
Contextual Triggers
My Reading Focus is triggered contextually, turning on automatically whenever I open the Kindle app. My Home Screen on both my iPad and iPhone shows only Widgets from Kindle, Readwise, and The New York Times.
Integration with Sleep
I wrote about how I handle Sleep on my iPhone here. When my iPad enters Sleep Mode, the Home Screen also switches automatically to the one mentioned above. I find that this helps me stay on track at night. If I want to watch Netflix or YouTube, I can find it. It just takes extra effort, so I’m more likely to do some reading which feels better to wind down and sleep.
Reading More by Seeing Less
I try to read every day. I may not read more than a few pages on hectic days, but it still fills my cup and desire to learn something. Plus, it’s an incremental way to finish a book even when I don’t have much time.
With Reading Focus turned on, I am less likely to wander into the myriad distractions that may tempt me. I can still do anything on my device; it just requires overcoming the friction of opening the search dialog, typing in whatever I’m looking for, and then pressing on the result.
More Focus & Automation
I’m working on my writing and production focus modes right now, and I am very interested in how contextual triggers, Automation, and Shortcuts can help fine-tune my workflows. How do you use these tools to help you get work done? I’m curious and interested in learning, so please let me know.
Finding Focus: Saving My 3 AM Self With Wind Down and Sleep
Our second child, now three months old, is different from our firstborn toddler, who became a steady sleeper pretty early on (I hear that chorus of duh's, parents of the Internet!). He prefers feedings every few hours (as so many babies do), so none of us sleeps particularly well.
After a 3 am feeding that often begins with some pretty intense wailing from our hungry little guy, I sometimes find myself wound up and can't immediately find my way back to sleep, despite how much I desire it.
Being awake, I sometimes feel pulled to unlock my iPhone and meander around various forums, Instagram, NYTimes, or other social media that generally do not help me relax. I know it's not great for me, and it's something I've been trying to change. Thankfully, the tool that has been the most helpful for me is a feature that came out in iOS 14 as part of the Wind Down and Sleep features Apple implemented. And, it's only gotten better with iOS 15's new Focus mode.
Adding Shortcuts to my Wind Down and Sleep Focus screens, I've created a few choices that give me the chance to make a better decision, causing me to pause for a moment before doom scrolling the night away. I've limited these to a few input and output options, including Kindle for slowing my brain down by reading a book and the opportunity to create a new document in Drafts or a new entry in Day One.
I'll write more about how I'm managing this on my iPad soon. Right now, my iPad is my go-to for Kindle, and while the Sleep and Wind Down features aren't as robust there, I'll share how I manage distractions on there as well.
These options are perfect and save me from my own bad choices. Decision fatigue is legit, and it hits hard at the end of a long day. As a tired dad, my instincts should be to give my brain a peaceful place to unwind after putting my kiddo back to bed, and I need all the tools I can get to help set me in the right direction and remind me that the dopamine hit of social media posts or the latest news can wait.
I suspect many people have discovered this feature as part of the powerful new Focus tools in iOS, iPadOS 15, and Monterey. Is that you? How are you using Focus, and how has it helped you? Drop me a note; I'd love to hear more about it.