Finding Focus: Building a New Sleep Mode to Improve Discipline, Support Better Habits, and Save Me from Myself

For many, sleep is a complicated matter. It is vital to our health and well-being, yet many struggle to get adequate rest. According to the CDC, 36 percent of adults in the United States, approximately 120 million people, sleep less than seven hours each night.

Over a quarter of the US population needs to sleep more. Regretfully, since becoming a parent, I've become part of this unfortunate statistic.

Like most parents, The struggle became greater after having children. As if inconsistencies of sleep that are beyond my control aren't enough, I've recently started doing something that is certainly not in my best interest: staying up well after the kids are asleep and things are cleaned up. I don't do this every night, but I cycle through a couple times a week where the desire to just stay awake and enjoy some quiet time to decompress wins out over the better angels of sleep. My wife, who deals with the same sleepless nights but is far wiser than me, prioritizes what little sleep she gets over anything that doesn't involve her family. She's an intelligent woman, and as I often tell her, when I'm learning from her, I'm taking notes.

Some nights things works out. I go to bed later than I should, and everyone sleeps through the night. Other nights, I only get a few hours of sleep before the waking up begins. After a particularly tough week of this cycle, I made a conscious decision to take action and make a change.

The Goal

I started this project by making a short list of my goals. Here's what I came up with:

• Aim for seven hours of sleep every night

• Access to apps that promote relaxation and sleep

• Limit access to apps that inhibit sleep

• Turn on automatically 30 minutes before ideal bedtime

• Use context shifting to reinforce sleep time

With these goals in mind, I set out to reduce distractions during the time that I want to be sleeping and also improve my sleep discipline. After some planning, I started building a revamped sleep Focus mode.

Letting the Right Apps In

Okay, I have an admission to make. I use my devices in bed before going to sleep. Most often, I'm on an iPad Air or iPad Mini, writing a journal entry and reading on the Kindle app. Sometimes, I do this on my iPhone if I'm traveling or don't have an iPad near me.

I know that using technology before bed can contribute to sleep problems. More specifically, I know the apps that can distract me and present problems. I keep the few social media apps I use, streaming apps, email, and the open web, off limits.

So, what's allowed? Honestly, not much.

The Home Screen

I Have one widget and four apps that are a part of my Sleep Focus Mode. Phone and Messages are also accessible, but let’s be honest, they are easily ignored.

The Kindle Widget

I read when I wake up and before I go to sleep. I read several short passages from "daily" books in the morning, while I usually read one or two full-length books at night. The content of these vary, but it's typically nonfiction. Lately, I've been rereading Kitchen Confidential and The Diary of Anne Frank. The first is an old favorite that I'm rereading for the first time since It was released nearly 24 years ago, and the second is part of my research into journaling. The Kindle Widget is ideal here because it's bigger than any other app icon and will get me right into reading a book.

Ulysses

I do all of my writing in Ulysses. I like accessing what I'm working on quickly, especially if I'm in bed early. While that's rare, it's often because I want to do a little writing before I call it a night.

MindNode

I'm a nerd. Nerds mind map. I'm working on several active mind maps for various parts of my life, including management and team-building ideas, journaling, event or trip planning, and general content for this site.

Dark Noise

I often use Dark Noise while I sleep. I've always been a fan of white noise, and having two kids who like white noise machines has just reinforced my preference for it. I set up this simple shortcut to turn on brown noise, which I prefer over the more traditional white noise option in this app.

Gratitude

As part of my journaling practice, I use this shortcut to create a new daily gratitude entry in Day One. That's table stakes for my journaling practice. Some days, I write in other journals or do multiple entries, but at a minimum, I post a photo and a sentence or two that share something I'm thankful for.

Moving Safari

I've always kept Safari on my dock on all my mobile devices. It's one of my most frequently used apps, yet it's one of the apps I don't want easy access to in Sleep Mode. Right now, Apple doesn't let you have different docks for different focus modes, so now Safari lives on the Home Screen of my iPad and iPhone.

The Apple Watch

Most days, I wear my watch until I go to bed, so I have an automation set to change the face from California to the Breathe face an hour before my ideal bedtime. This furthers the shift from where the day-to-day noise of calendar, fitness, weather, etc., can become overwhelming to where the focus is much more on winding down.

The Honor System

I am at my best when I follow this simple rule: if I wake up in the middle of the night and can't sleep, I can pick up my iPad or my iPhone, and I can do anything I want as long as it's reading a book or choosing an option on my Home Screen.

Having used this Focus mode for more than a month since beginning the first draft of this post, I can report that it works well. The context shift does make a difference. It reminds me that my interests are best served by not accessing social media, news apps, or any noisy inputs the broader net offers. Anytime I ignore this reminder and abandon my responsibilities around getting the best sleep possible, I am worse for it.

Finally, I know Focus modes can only do so much. It’s as much about making the right decisions and advocating for myself. Still, using the tools at hand to make it a little easier to make the right decisions is worth doing.

Jim Eagar Talks Repotting & Retirement on the Focused Podcast

My good friend Jim Eagar appeared on the Focused podcast last week to discuss the four phases of retirement and how to find our meaning and purpose in life.

I’m not even close to retirement, yet I found so much value and insight that applies to my experience. Regardless of where you are in your life, give this episode a listen. We all hope to grow old, and there are some thoughtful ideas here on how to do that with intentionality instead of by accident.

Benjamin Franklin Was Time Blocking Before it Was Cool

Source: Wikimedia/The Atlantic

Benjamin Franklin’s daily schedule in all of its nerdy splendor. It’s useful for those of us trying to get stuff done to see that people have been trying to do time-blocking for a long time.

The morning and evening journaling prompts may be my favorite piece of this. These could be as helpful today as they were a couple hundred years ago. I’ll keep banging the drum for journaling; it helps people figure stuff out.

My role as a stay-at-home dad doesn’t allow for as much time blocking, although I’ve done it at work. At my last job, I had a lot of meetings that I was invited to (and required to attend), but I made an effort to keep Monday and Friday as free of them as possible so I could start and end the week by moving the departmental needle. Wednesday was the day that I set meetings and one-on-ones. Every day I had an hour in the morning to work on reviews and team member feedback and an hour in the afternoon dedicated to hiring and reviewing job applications. On my most successful days, I went through a shutdown routine where I cleaned up email, tidied up my task list, and reviewed the next day’s calendar and tasks.

There’s value in this kind of planning, although I’ve learned that the plan doesn’t always work out. Sometimes, life has a plan or, perhaps more appropriately, doesn’t, and you just have to ride it out. Be your best friend about this, don’t beat yourself up. So much is beyond your control; remember that.

Finding Focus: Using HazeOver to Tame Distraction

I sometimes find It difficult to concentrate while trying to get creative work done on my Mac. Like most people, I have a lot of demands on my time, and even when I want to really get into a project, distractions are plentiful. One tool that has helped me improve my focus and stay on task is HazeOver, an app I've been happily using as part of my SetApp subscription for several months.

HazeOver, a productivity tool developed by Maxim Anavov, creates a translucent layer that darkens the desktop behind the currently active window. It is customizable, offering options to adjust the opacity or change the color of the layer. HazeOver also supports multiple displays, the option to highlight one window or all windows of an active app, and a rules based tool that disable any features for specified apps.

HazeOver is contextual for me. I toggle the app via keyboard shortcut when it's time to write or take notes from research and shut it off when doing admin work or general tasks. I have made minimal changes to the settings, with the opacity set at 75%, the default black color option, and only one active window highlighted at a time.

There are a lot of distractions in our lives, and I appreciate the simple and effective way that HazeOver works to try and minimize some of those while I get work done. If you have a tool you like that helps you stay focused, let me know. I’ll give it a try and may include it in a future post for this series.

HazeOver is available for purchase on the App Store and via Setapp, where new users get a 7-day free trial. If you subscribe to Setapp using this link, you get one month free, and it supports the work I do as well.

Steve Jobs on How to Focus

I found this on 512 Pixels, where Stephen Hackett wrote about the 25th anniversary of Apple’s decision to kill the Newton. If you aren’t reading Stephen’s blog and are interested in tech history, you are missing out.

Is anyone else curious just what The San Jose Mercury wrote that had Steve so fired up?

Testing Your Soundtracks With Jon Acuff

Jon Acuff is an author, keynote speaker, and podcast host. He is also an overthinker. In the first chapter of his book Soundtracks: The Surprising Solution to Overthinking, he shares this:

I was the king of someday, high on thought, low on motion about a litany of things I'd do eventually.

The someday mentality is familiar to many of us. Part of the desire to procrastinate is often associated with anxiety, and also with the dishonest thoughts that race through our brains. Those thoughts take up valuable space and energy and help fuel those anxious feelings.

In Soundtracks, Jon shares a short exercise he's developed to help us understand the difference between when our brain is offering helpful advice and when it's lying to us. The next time you deal with these type of thoughts, ask yourself these three questions:

Is It True?

So many of or thoughts aren’t even true. Ask someone you trust if what your thinking has any basis in reality.

Is It Helpful?

This question is my favorite. Is the soundtrack helping you move the needle or holding you back? As Jon writes, "Does it lead to a decision or limit a decision? Does it generate action or apathy?"

Is It Kind?

According to Jon, the first two questions are less likely to catch a broken soundtrack because they tell convincing stories about how they've been helpful.

When you hear the broken soundtrack, ask yourself how you feel. Are you encouraged, or do you feel defeated Jon writes that the most important thing to remember is that soundtracks are kind and not judgmental.

Oh, Well…

Once we realize we're deep in a negative soundtrack, Jon shares some research on how to find the way out from Dr. Herbert Benson. The first option is to repeat something positive. The second and one I've used more regularly is to say "oh, well" when the distraction comes. This mantra can take the bite out of those negative thoughts and help move our thinking and attention forward.

Reading Soundtracks Can Help Defeat Baseless Thoughts

Soundtracks is much more than these three questions. Jon is funny and offers actionable advice and some context that reminds us we are all in this together. I read it a few years ago, and it's been helpful as I understand how often my brain produces baseless negative thoughts. I'm tuning that signal-to-noise ratio to something I control more, and Jon's book has helped with that.

Most people deal with this from time to time. If you are among this group, Soundtracks is worth reading.

Weekly Quote: Ryan Holiday on Focus and The Muses

This week’s quote comes from Discipline is Destiny by Ryan Holiday.

Focus can be hard to find. There have always been distractions, but they’ve gotten much louder thanks to the tiny supercomputer in your pocket or bag.

Modern tech is a wonder. The Internet has changed our lives and given us so much. Yet, it takes effort to avoid the pitfalls of the always-on data firehose, with apps designed to keep you swiping and engaged, watching, and captivated. Sometimes, there's not much difference between being captivated and captured save for a bit of charm.

It may be something else too. Perhaps your time is not your own anymore. You are busy being a parent, working two jobs to pay the bills, or acting as a caretaker for a family member because they have no one else. When the day ends, you are too exhausted to do anything aside from preparing for the next challenge.

Regardless of what is pulling at you, try to find some time that is yours. Doing so will help you manage your stress and gain perspective. Put your phone away, Take a few deep breaths, daydream a little, go for a short walk, or even write in your journal. Give yourself space to think and listen carefully to what comes to mind.

Make this time a priority. Practice putting the distractions and burdens of life in a metaphorical box, knowing that they will be waiting for you when you're done, and gift yourself one of the most priceless commodities, a little time.

---

The 24 Letters Monthly Newsletter launches next week! Sign up to receive additional articles, behind-the-scenes info, links, recommendations, and early access to new projects. Join now!

Focus Mode Comes to Craft

Craft, my favorite app for building ideas, has implemented Focus Mode in its latest update (v2.2.3). With a simple keyboard shortcut (command + .), I can toggle all sidebars, navigation, and headers. I'm left with a distraction-free workspace to create.

Craft is regularly updated with thoughtful improvements, and I appreciate that. The developers are already looking at iOS 16 and macOS Ventura features like Lock Screen and Stage Manager. The mockups look great, and I'm excited to see where things land when the new operating systems are released.

Finding Focus: Keeping on Task with Reading Mode

While I still enjoy printed books occasionally, my reading preferences have shifted to the Kindle app on my iPad. Customizing my Reading Focus Mode has improved this preference, and here’s how I set it up to make it work for me.

Contextual Triggers

My Reading Focus is triggered contextually, turning on automatically whenever I open the Kindle app. My Home Screen on both my iPad and iPhone shows only Widgets from Kindle, Readwise, and The New York Times.

Integration with Sleep​

I wrote about how I handle Sleep on my iPhone here. When my iPad enters Sleep Mode, the Home Screen also switches automatically to the one mentioned above. I find that this helps me stay on track at night. If I want to watch Netflix or YouTube, I can find it. It just takes extra effort, so I’m more likely to do some reading which feels better to wind down and sleep.

Reading More by Seeing Less

I try to read every day. I may not read more than a few pages on hectic days, but it still fills my cup and desire to learn something. Plus, it’s an incremental way to finish a book even when I don’t have much time.

With Reading Focus turned on, I am less likely to wander into the myriad distractions that may tempt me. I can still do anything on my device; it just requires overcoming the friction of opening the search dialog, typing in whatever I’m looking for, and then pressing on the result.

More Focus & Automation

I’m working on my writing and production focus modes right now, and I am very interested in how contextual triggers, Automation, and Shortcuts can help fine-tune my workflows. How do you use these tools to help you get work done? I’m curious and interested in learning, so please let me know.

Weekly Quote: Make a List

This week’s quote is from Jon Acuff’s book Soundtracks: The Surprising Solution to Overthinking.

I love lists. I always have. Creating lists brings me a sense of control and focus that is so empowering.

I use digital and analog tools to collect data and am pleased with this hybrid approach. Tasks end up in Todoist, and items that aren’t as fully formed or action-oriented find their home in Craft.

I find lists to be especially useful as a tool to slow my mind down during a stressful or unexpected challenge. I will take five or ten minutes, find a quiet place, and write everything down in these situations.

I think of this as reactive list building, although it’s essentially a brain dump, a concept popularized by David Allen’s Getting Things Done. I find that doing this helps me sort out a situation by getting organized, and it helps bring a sense of clarity to the challenges ahead.

Are you a list builder? What tools do you use? I’m going to write more about this in the future and would love to hear from you.

Weekly Quote: Fill The Glass

This week’s quote comes from Donald Kaberuka, an economist and former president of the African Development Bank and current chair of the board of the Global Fund to Fight AIDS. I discovered it in an issue of James Clear’s excellent 3-2-1 Newsletter.

Imagine if you walked into your next senior leadership meeting and the only item on the agenda was a significant crisis that needed resolution? Now, imagine the facilitator started things off with this quote?

What Mr. Kaberuka is expressing here exemplifies confidence and a focused attempt at finding the right solution. If you lead a team, this approach is invaluable because they need to believe that there is a solution and that you will lead them to search for it.

Of course, you need to believe it too. Reading the quote is helpful, but holding onto the inspiration it offers is vital for success and growth. How do you focus on filling the glass? Let me know.

Weekly Quote: Suffering our Imagination

This quote connects nicely with last week’s entry about focusing on what we can control. Our ability to tell ourselves stories about the future is powerful, and we usually use it to our detriment even though the worst-case scenarios rarely come to pass.

A context shift can help us deal with these runaway thoughts, especially the big, persistent narratives that just won’t go away. I find reading a book or listening to some new music helpful because it provides some distraction in a low-stakes way and gives my brain time to reflect and engage with the subject in a new way. Doing something a little different can help bring a fresh perspective to the situation, making all the difference and helping to reset things for the better.

How do you handle this? Let me know.

Weekly Quote: Focus on What You Can Control

This week’s quote from The Daily Stoic applies to every aspect of our lives. I happened to slip on some ice earlier this week and ended up breaking my wrist. There isn’t much about that which I have control over.

I’m focusing on what I can control. I’m focused on healing, supporting my family, learning how to type (and do everything else) with one hand, and avoiding those slippery spots. How are you dealing with uncertainty? Let me know.

One Thing

I found this very simple app called One Thing over at 512 Pixels a few weeks back. It does just what it says, allows you to post one sentence in the menu bar of your Mac.

I opted for a quote from Seneca that feels especially appropriate right now. I appreciate the simplicity of this and thought you might too. Check it out here on the Mac App Store.

Pure Focus

As I’ve been working on this site, I’ve been looking for a wider variety of music, particularly in the form of curated playlists that I can enjoy while I write and edit posts. With that spirit, I started exploring what Apple Music has to offer and found Pure Focus.

The playlist comprises some really beautiful and moody songs, which Apple refers to as “electronic soundscapes.” That description is apt because each piece does evoke a different sense of feeling and place. Of course, some more than others. Right now, Snowfall by Gideon Matthew connects with me. There is something hopeful and yet wistful in the composition; it’s beautiful. The playlist is also updated, so new surprises await.

As we enter the weekend, I encourage you to listen to something new. Ask a friend or colleague or your kids what speaks to them. Experience it with an open mind and an open heart. It may not click, or you may come away delighted and more deeply connected with those around you and have something new that brings you joy.

Finding Focus: Saving My 3 AM Self With Wind Down and Sleep

Our second child, now three months old, is different from our firstborn toddler, who became a steady sleeper pretty early on (I hear that chorus of duh's, parents of the Internet!). He prefers feedings every few hours (as so many babies do), so none of us sleeps particularly well.

After a 3 am feeding that often begins with some pretty intense wailing from our hungry little guy, I sometimes find myself wound up and can't immediately find my way back to sleep, despite how much I desire it.

Being awake, I sometimes feel pulled to unlock my iPhone and meander around various forums, Instagram, NYTimes, or other social media that generally do not help me relax. I know it's not great for me, and it's something I've been trying to change. Thankfully, the tool that has been the most helpful for me is a feature that came out in iOS 14 as part of the Wind Down and Sleep features Apple implemented. And, it's only gotten better with iOS 15's new Focus mode.

Adding Shortcuts to my Wind Down and Sleep Focus screens, I've created a few choices that give me the chance to make a better decision, causing me to pause for a moment before doom scrolling the night away. I've limited these to a few input and output options, including Kindle for slowing my brain down by reading a book and the opportunity to create a new document in Drafts or a new entry in Day One.

I'll write more about how I'm managing this on my iPad soon. Right now, my iPad is my go-to for Kindle, and while the Sleep and Wind Down features aren't as robust there, I'll share how I manage distractions on there as well.

These options are perfect and save me from my own bad choices. Decision fatigue is legit, and it hits hard at the end of a long day. As a tired dad, my instincts should be to give my brain a peaceful place to unwind after putting my kiddo back to bed, and I need all the tools I can get to help set me in the right direction and remind me that the dopamine hit of social media posts or the latest news can wait.

I suspect many people have discovered this feature as part of the powerful new Focus tools in iOS, iPadOS 15, and Monterey. Is that you? How are you using Focus, and how has it helped you? Drop me a note; I'd love to hear more about it.